INTRODUCING: Wholesome Astrology Wholistic Birth Chart Readings

When the Astrology tells you it’s time to take Astrology seriously.

(11th January 2024)

How did you spend your Solstice/Christmas/Festive break?

To commemorate my first year as an Astrologer (Astrologist?), I spent much of mine binge-watching-on-1.25-(sometimes 1.5)-speed end-of-year Astrology Forecast videos. I had no idea there were already so many Astrologerists with opinions out there? Thankfully, I haven’t found any other Conspiratorial Drumming Stargazers with extensive Interdisciplinary Academic Research backgrounds, so my Jupiterian Optimism tells me there is still a market out there to be cornered.

Speaking of Jupiter (and money): the Greater Benefic Luminary was one of the most consistent and prominent Celestial Characters across these Forecasts. This was for two main reasons: the Planet turned from Retrograde to Direct on the last day of the year — giving the world a much needed dose of New Years Spirit — and will make a much anticipated 1-in-12ish-year Conjunction with Uranus on April 20th (that is: in the direct aftermath of the April 8 Total Solar (aka Great American) Eclipse).

As a Pisces Rising (under both Tropical and Sidereal, bonus controversy-free placement!), Jupiter becomes my official “Chart Ruler” — meaning, in my interpretation, it becomes the Planetary Archetype that “calls the shots” and will be most central to my experience of life.

In honour of my Celestial Archetypal Overlord, I’m planning to focus much of my 5th House Stellium creative energy on the second brightest star in the sky in the lead up to April 20.

Before I creatively and provocatively explore the Jupiterian Spirit further, I must also honour my Benevolent Heavenly Dictator’s specific abode in my own Birth Chart and get my hands dirty in decidedly material ways.

Jupiter Stationing Direct also represented the final peak of my 3rd Jupiter Return Year: whereby Transiting Jupiter meandered over its position in my natal Chart. The New Years Eve Station happened within 5 degrees of my natal Jupiter, which is located at the start of my 2nd House of Wealth, Material Assets and Personal Values (the specific House that will be activated in my chart by the Conjunction with Uranus):

Inner ring are my Natal placements, outer ring were the positions of the Planets on December 30 as Jupiter first Stationed Direct. Let’s ignore Neptune stalking my Ascendant shall we.

What does this combination entail? The following excerpt is taken directly from my Wholistic Birth Chart Reading template, which I have been gradually Expanding and Enlightening (in a consciously Jupiterian manner) over the last 12 months. 

Jupiter in the 2nd House. Strength: Fortune in finance; trust in financial security and independence; sharing wealth with less fortunate. Shadow: Wasteful; squanders theirs and other people’s money; demanding and presumptuous in what they are owed.

Well: it’s time to take my own advice from the first edition of Wholesomely Foreboding Skyclock Forecasts and make hay while the current Celestial Weather is shining somewhat favourably upon us. Today, January 11 2024, is the New Moon in Tropical Capricorn and Sidereal Sagittarius: forming an almost exact Trine with Uranus (Revolutionary New Beginnings), while Jupiter forms an almost exact Trine to Mars (Positive Self-Assertion) and Sextile to Saturn (Disciplined Optimism). In my home town Esperance, the New Moon — with Pluto lurking ominously 10 degrees away — becomes almost exact tonight as it sets over the Western Horizon.

The Wholistic Birth Chart of someone just born in Esperance: showing the almost-perfect Sunset New Moon at 20 degrees Tropical Capricorn, in the Sidereal Constellation of Sagittarius, and on the cusp of the two Ashadha Nakshatras.

This Spicy and Portentous Sun-Moon Conjunction will activate my 10th House: the House of Career, Reputation and the Future.

And thus, here we are, with the official twilight launch of WHOLESOME ASTROLOGY WHOLISTIC BIRTH CHART READINGS.

What can you expect as part of your Wholistic Birth Chart Reading? Have at some of this bulleted list, fellow diggers:

• Your Wholistic Birth Chart: showing your Planets in Aspect and in their Houses — along with their Tropical, True Sidereal and Lunar Mansion (Nakshatra) placements (see New Moon chart above as an example);

• A 3 Page summary of your Primary Celestial Archetypes, Major Planetary Aspects, House Occupants and Lunar Node Life Path;

• An overview of the Geocentric Cosmology of the Skyclock;

• My “Harmonising the Heavens” manifesto on wholesomely integrating various branches of Astrology into a single working model;

• A “Wholesome Astrology 101” breakdown of every aforementioned component of your Wholistic Birth Chart;

• A fun and potentially provocative exploration of your unique “Lunar Life Lessons”;

• Your personalised “Archetypal Forecast” covering the major Outer Planet Transits over the next 5 years and where they are activated in your chart; 

AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE:

• Creative, witty and often brutally savage (see above) 3-line summaries of the positive and negative Archetypal expressions of the Planets in every Sign and House.

*grits teeth*

ALL THIS FOR THE LIMITED TIME EXCLUSIVE PRICE OF 300 HOPEFULLY NOT SOON WORTHLESS FIAT AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS.

*checks exchange rate*

WHICH IS ACTUALLY FAR LESS THAN 300 OF YOUR EVEN MORE TENUOUS NORTHERN HEMISPHERE FIAT MONETARY TOKENS.

In all seriousness: this is essentially the culmination of my prolonged and seemingly endless professional journey as an interdisciplinary, conspirituality-leaning researcher — which is, itself, the perfect Astrological expression of having my Neptune-Conjunct-Moon in the Nakshatra of Mula (Destroying the Roots of Untruths) in the 10th House of Career and Reputation. Long-ish term readers will confirm that I plainly speak my truth and am more than happy to tell people things they don’t like to hear: which (in my opinion) is one of the core Archetypes of the Astrologer.

I could go on about why my Astrology gives me little choice in this matter, however, long story short: you could convincingly argue that I was born to make a Career and Living as a Wholesomely Provocative Piscean Astrologer, and I certainly take that life mission seriously (most of the time, which is a good effort for a Pisces).

My life has, after all, benefited immensely from a true understanding of Astrology, and I am fortunate to be in the position to pass on this gift to others. I see Wholistic Birth Chart Readings as not simply a “Reading” of one’s own Celestial Identity, but also a foundational manual for understanding Astrology.

If you find yourself in Jupiterian financial circumstances in the near future, and feel like my services are worth the investment, you can follow this link to my main website (or, if you would like to know more first: isaac.mids@gmail.com). I am starting with a tentative and conservative 2 week turnaround time (completing the Reading is a creative and intuitive Neptunian process that doesn’t do well with timelines) — and for now, until I find my feet and trajectory, I am only officially offering the report without any additional virtual-face-to-face option.

So that’s that. Were you only here for Spicy Celebrity Astrology Drum Covers? Well, I have you covered too: here is a breakdown of Dolores O’Riordan’s Planetary Transits on the day of her death, soundtracked to an overlooked Cranberries Banger.

Did I mention that a Wholesome Astrology Reading also includes your Transits?

And The Lining Was Suddenly Silver

Jupiter-Uranus Prayer #1

(8th January 2024)

“Big radical ideas. Integrating faith with truth. Changing beliefs. Belief in freedom. Sudden journeys. Sudden strokes of luck.”

Aspects in Astrology: Sue Tompkins

These are some of the Key Word Combinations of the two Celestial Archetypes of Jupiter and Uranus: who will join each other around the Skyclock on April 20, directly adjacent to the Pleiades Constellation and in the Tropical Sign of Taurus.

These phrases are, for the most part, positive: this is the Great Benefic we are talking about here, blending itself with the first Outer Planet around the higher ideals of Truth, Expansion and Freedom that they both share. After what promises to be a geopolitically-defining Eclipse Season, one can scarcely think of a more positively-potent Planetary combination with which to launch us forward into the unknown.  

But it is not all good. Or, perhaps we can rephrase: there is no guarantees that we only see the bright side of Jupiter and Uranus. That’s where choice comes in.

My interpretation of these Astrological events is that we will experience extreme manifestations of both the Strength and Shadow. We have the power to orientate ourselves to the Archetypal Energy that we most desire. 

In the lead to April 20, I plan to do a series on what I am calling “Jupiter-Uranus Prayers”: creatively exploring both these Light and Dark manifestations, so that we can be as prepared as possible for any events that unfold. 

To start with, I wanted to channel as strongly as possible the Pure Jupiterian Spirit: the Hope, the Optimism, the Faith that the Lining will always be Silver. 

And when it comes to Uranus, such a silver lining can come suddenly: almost as if — just like Uranus, the first Outer Planet — it was actually there the whole time, before it chose to reveal itself. 

January 2024 Wholesomely Foreboding Skyclock Forecast

Embrace the Expansion; Prepare for Escalation: Fellow Diggers.

(31st December 2023)

Are you a New Years Resolution kinda person? I’m most certainly not (Neptune laughs in the face of such structure and discipline) although I will be making an exception this year… and would invite you to join me! 

Why? Let’s find out in the 1st Edition of WHOLESOMELY FOREBODING SKYCLOCK FORECASTS: where I synthesise the hard work of the Astrological Community’s finest minds into concise monthly doses of Jupiterian Optimism and Saturnian Realism. 

Speaking of which: as I press Publish, Jupiter is Stationing at the end of its Retrograde cycle, preparing to turn Direct. Jupiter is the Greater Benefic — signifying Expansion, Hope and a Dignified Faith. Dormant since September, when Jupiter joined 7(?!) other Planets in Retrograde, these energies are now becoming activated at the exact time that we enter the New Year. 

Just a coincidence that I received the download to begin this new monthly series on the same day that my Pisces Rising Chart Ruler Stationed Direct?

Perhaps the first day of 2024 would have made more sense, as this is when Retrograde Mercury will also Station Direct, bringing Clarity and Decisiveness to our Thoughts and modes of Communication. This will leave Uranus as the only Retrograde Planet, a status it will remain in until the end of January. 

We will also be in Tropical Capricorn Season: Saturn-ruled, Responsible, Dutiful, Hard Working. Sidereally, the Sun will be in Purva Ashadha, a Powerful and Formidable Nakshatra symbolised by the Charging Elephant: Defying the Odds, Breaking through Barriers, Obtaining Victory.

In other words, the first half of January is the perfect Celestial Weather for actively pursuing our New Years Resolutions. 

The peak of this activating energy will be the New Moon on the 11th, which comes with a bunch of supportive Aspects: the Conjunct Sun-Moon will Trine Uranus and Sextile Pluto, while Mars will Trine Jupiter and Sextile Saturn. 

Just a coincidence that I received the download to begin this new monthly series on the same day that my Pisces Rising Chart Ruler Stationed Direct?

PerhapThis will occur as the Sun is entering the subsequent Nakshatra of Uttara Ashadha, where the Charging Elephant becomes the Grounded Elephant: Consolidating and Capitalising on the spoils of Victory.

This will be an ideal day to finalise your 2024 plans and intentions — because, as we move into into the second half of January, the energies will begin to ramp up significantly.

On January 20th, the Sun will Conjunct the Lord of the Underworld Pluto: this day may give us the first indication of the Planetary energies that will be headed our way over the following months.

Mars, the Planet of War and lesser Malefic, will follow suit in mid-February: with Venus also joining in a rare Triple Conjunction.

This will gradually build to some sort of crescendoing climax in April: when we have a Total Lunar Eclipse followed by Jupiter Conjunct Uranus. Expect shenanigans in the US, Middle East and anywhere on our realm that the small Orange hands of the Moonchild reaches.

So, yes, set New Years Resolutions to make the most of these Activated Mercurial and Jupiterian energies: but approach them as short term personal development projects that can be satisfactorily ticked off before the end of January. 

Why? Because beyond this point, we may find that broader world priorities are quickly taking precedence over our own.

My advice, and the title of my first Wholesomely Foreboding Skyclock Forecast video (set to the sunrise scene of Magic Oak Woods and plentiful baaing sheep, in case you needed extra encouragement):

Embrace the Expansion, Prepare for Escalation.

INAUGURAL WHOLESOME ASTROLOGY SOLSTICE SKYCLOCK SPECTACULAR

Tropical vs Sidereal! Moonchilds! Eclipse Omens! Celebrity Deaths Written in the Stars! Pluto Returns! Coldplay and Tay Tay!

GREETINGS FELLOW (STAR)DIGGERS. Boy do I have a treat for you.

It has been roughly a year since my realisation that Astrology was the final burrow of the Wombat Hole: that the real Conspiracy of our realm lies in the Heavens, not on Earth, in other words.

Thus, we (me) embarked upon a hasty and entirely unlikely transition from Conspiratorial Terrain Theorist to Conspiratorial Drumming Astrologer: requiring the application of my over-extensive academic research experience towards the optimistic endeavour of cramming an entire body of Astrological history, theory and practice into a 12 month study period.

For those of you who have stuck with me during this transition period — including that fairly spicy Jubilee detour that, if nothing else, ushered away all of the closet Zionists — here is your reward: a special Southern Hemisphere Summer Solstice Extravaganza of Wholesomely Conspiratorial Astrology content, including content that could convincingly be argued to be altogether non-Conspiratorial!

Consider this a Greatest Hits (U2 1980-1990 rather than U2 1990-2000, ideally) of my first 12 months exploring the expansive universe of Astrology. We will take care of business first, before we get into the spicier material, before finishing with some gratuitously-escapist Celebrity Astrology fit for the whole family. Feel free to skip backwards and forwards as you wish — working through it over the festive period if you feel desired to — but there is a narrative tying it all together.

These are the main topics I would like to explore further in dedicated posts in early 2024 — by early, I mean ideally before April, given (spoiler alert) I’m not 100% confident Western Civilisation is going to survive the upcoming Great American Eclipse/Pluto Return double-header in tact.

Without further ado, and with our Apocalyptic tone appropriately set, let’s dive in!

Harmonising the Heavens: Brief Remarks on the Tropical vs Sidereal Debate

Let me start this diatribe-adjacent section with an example: Moon Square Pluto.

Every Astrologer — regardless of their Astrology, upbringing or partiality to alternate models of Cosmology — knows that Moon-Square-Pluto is a Thing. Its most obvious Keyword Combination is Intense Emotional Conflict; some its most famous practitioners include Jim Morrison, Shia Labeouf, Andrew Garfield and Naomi Watts, who are in the company of what is quite frankly a ridiculously large number of Actors/Actresses/Hollywood creeps.

If Moon Square Pluto is a Thing, why is it a Thing? I would suggest it is because the Moon and Pluto are two distinct Luminaries with two unique harmonic frequencies, sitting at a discordant 90 degree angle across from each other on the part of the Skyclock called the Ecliptic. This produces an Emotional Intensity that consensus society would judge as “lacking in harmony”.

Neil “Oblate Spheroid” DeGrasse Tyson, Elon Musk et al. (brace yourself Heliocentrists, this might sting) would tell you that it is simply a matter of perspective: these two planetary bodies — one in our inner Atmosphere and the other lurking in the deepest depths of the Solar System — are actually in no such spatial arrangement, but produce the same energetic result nonetheless.

I guess that is possible. But which explanation seems most likely? The answer to this question is, in a nutshell, why I am a Geocentrist — and why I would whole-heartedly recommend it to other cosmologically-curious Astrologers.

That is because Astrology (and the nature of our realm) makes far more sense to me when the sky is understood simply as a rotating system of Luminaries — some fixed, some transient — together forming a coherent energetic and time-keeping instrument. I have no further comments to make on our Realm’s true Design, including it’s shape… except to say that I am increasingly leaning towards some sort of Firmament-hybrid Discworld “Turtle Swimming Through Space” Model — if for no other reason that I find it disarmingly comforting and nostalgic.

Now, I understand I am in the minority here, and there is no obligation to leave Heliocentrism at the inviting entrance to the Wombat Hole.

Indeed: I get that this level of attention-to-Creative-Design-detail can turn a tiny bit sinister and even evoke Gnostic Soul Trap vibes — particularly given the current careening trajectory of the Realm in question. But I personally believe it gives everything an extra jolt of purpose, and provides added hope of some method, and meaning, to the madness.

Plus: just think how much of a relief of burden it would be, every time an Astrologer talking about a Planet retrograding backwards across the Skyclock no long needs to add the hasty caveat “REMEMBER IT’S ACTUALLY JUST AN OPTICAL ORBITAL ILLUSION IT’S NOT REALLY MOVING BACKWARDS IT’S ALL ACTUALLY VERY CONFUSING AND COMPLICATED”.

Anyway, for those still here: the point of this digression is that if that is indeed a carefully constructed Skyclock above our heads, the practice of Astrology should be founded around its direct Sidereal observation.

While that may sound like a personal attack on Tropical Astrology, I would like to quickly come to its defence — quite clearly it is real and legitimate: tapping into a tightly programmed and deeply fascinating Simulation Cycle, controlled and dictated by the passage of Sol around the Ecliptic.

That’s why there are 12 equally assigned Signs (indicating the division of the larger Solar cycle by the shorter Lunar cycle); that’s why they can each be conveniently grouped into one of the four Elements (Fire, Earth, Air, Water) and the three Modes (Cardinal, Fixed and Mutable); that’s why there is such a neat and tidy assignment of Rulerships to each of the 12 Signs by each of the 7 Traditional Planets (even if i’m not 100% convinced by Mercury getting Virgo) — why the Signs of the Sun and Moon sit next to each other, why Venus and Mars Signs sit next to but also Oppose each other, why Jupiter and Saturn are saved for the final 4 Signs — it’s because it is all part of what can only be described as an astonishing act of Celestial Craftsmanship.

Sidereal Astrology, which seeks to understand the positions of the transiting Luminaries in relation to each other and the fixed stars “behind” them, is not neat and tidy in the same way as Tropical Astrology. This suggests to me that they are tapping into separate “layers” of programming (Sidereal, I would suggest, the more deeply Archetypal layer).

Indeed, technically: none of these Tropical techniques are relevant to Sidereal practice. Mars rules the Cardinal Fire Sign of Tropical Aries, not the Sidereal Constellation of the Ram and its handful of fixed star systems, in other words (albeit there is obviously still helpful symbolism that can be transferred between the two).

Similarly, we cannot automatically ascribe the significations of the 12 Zodiac Signs in contemporary Tropical Astrology to the Sidereal Constellations that they were originally inspired by. Instead, Sidereal readings should refer more to the history, mythology and symbology of each Constellation and the fixed star systems that comprise them for their Archetypal guidance.

Or, even better, we can also use the Nakshatras: the 27 Lunar Mansions, each formed around a specific fixed star system that track the passage of the Moon over a full Lunar cycle — each occupied by a different Vedic Deity whose mythology reveals the Personality Archetype associated with that star system.

This is now my preferred approach for reading the Personality behind a Natal Chart: not only because these 27 Lunar Archetypes are more specific and colourful than the Signs/Constellations, but because it allows for an act of Neptunian Transcendence above the at-times surprisingly hostile Tropical vs Sidereal debate.

I plan to convince Nakshatra-skeptics in both the Tropical and Sidereal camps that these are the root Zodiacal Archetypes that Astrology should be tapping in to.

And there is a certain Man — The Chosen Orange Man — whose destabilizing role in our collective reality has been foretold and prophesied throughout popular culture to an unparalleled extent, who I believe proves this beyond reasonable doubt.

Orange Moonchild Updates

Indeed: we must now turn to the matter of The Orange Moonchild — an individual whose Astrology does its best to reveal the Simulated nature of our reality to all with the eyes to see.

I feel like I have over-promised and under-delivered so far on this subject. In my defence, the Mythology of the Moonchild may very well lie at the very bottom burrow of the Wombat Hole — the exact Conjunction between Conspiracy and Astrology — and one must attempt to convey such diggings in the most appropriately wholesome medium possible (or, when all else fails, memes).

Luckily, I have roped in my best Substack friend to help with this creative task, and we should have the first instalment out early(ish) in the New Year.

Before then, here is a teaser from the start of my Sunrise Walking Rant up a moderately large hill on Australia’s South West coast.

Bracing for April: Eclipse Omens and Jupiter-Uranus Vibes

No true Solstice Skyclock Spectacular would be complete without alarmist doomsaying predictions about the next 12 months, and no-one takes their alarmist doomsaying predictions more seriously than your humble digging correspondent.

My first attempt at prophesying the future script of The Simulation, using the Shemitah/Jubilee code, wasn’t entirely fulfilled… although, might I suggest, none of us will ever be able to view the timing of the October 7 events through non-conspiratorial eyes.

If I had been more advanced in my Astrological chops, I might have realized that the wash-up to September was a more Celestially-supported time for hijinx — given we would be launching into an eye-wateringly foreboding Eclipse Season, preceded by two of the big boys Squaring up in the Heavens.

To keep the Doomsaying succinct and to the point, let’s focus on the month of April: which may hold the September shenanigans that so many of us were waiting for but which never came.

Why?

ECLIPSE SEASON IS BACK, BABY.

While I am in no doubt this has been said for every single Eclipse Season… this is not just ANY Eclipse Season: the Total Solar Eclipse on April 8 is also the widely prophesied “Great Americ— sorry GREAT AMERICAN ECLIPSE”, wherein the path of the visibly-darkened Sun will trace a path across the United States mainland to intersect the path of the Eclipse that occurred in the first year of the Orange Moonchild’s 4 year reign of Hilarious yet ultimately Profoundly Disappointing Asshollery that literally cut America in half lolz.

Cue ridiculous and seemingly gratuitous symbology and numerology linking the upcoming Great American Eclipse back to the Moonchild.

https://twitter.com/DonnieDarkened/status/1489849466706440192

It needs reminding, even (especially) to myself sometimes, that not everything is about America, and — by extension — the Moonchild. Indeed, what this Eclipse Season most fundamentally represents is an ending of the cycle that was triggered last October, and presumably will offer some form of culmination of those events.

One might hypothesise — as many other in the truther-webz are — of a large scale retaliatory act on Israel and/or the enabling West for the enthusiastic cleansing currently occurring in Gaza. Let’s be honest: such an event(s) is pretty much inevitable (a self-fulfilling, victimhood-enabling prophecy even) and it is only the scale and ramifications of this retaliation that is TBC.

The final piece in this Eclipse Season puzzle is a Conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus in Tropical Taurus/Sidereal Aries, in the vicinity of the Pleiades Constellation that is at the heart of the Nakshatra Krittika (literally: Critique-r — to utilise the power of sharp thoughts and words, distinguishing and dividing that which serves from that which does not).

This seems… promising? Yes, if you want to black pill and hypothesize a post-terror-attack digital crackdown: Jupiter covers deranged fanaticism and Uranus both sudden events and the Internet. Or, alternately, with Jupiter as religious-like cults and Uranus as “space” travel: are we about to get our fake alien invasion, straight outta the Pleiades?

Anyway, at least we can get a fucking break from the unholy Celestial Trinity of Mars, Saturn and Pluto, amirite? I had a play around with some specific times across the 20th, and came up with this spicy looking Kite aspect, formed by the transiting Moon around 6:40pm New York time:

I choose to ignore that exact Moon-Neptune(Mars) Opposition and that exact Sun-Pluto Square and instead choose to acknowledge how pretty that Kite looks

How to prepare?

I just finished a reading for a friend who has this Conjunction within 2 degrees of their Natal Venus, suggesting it might feel particularly personal. I suggested playing around with some Keyword combinations for this Conjunction: Jupiter — Expansion, Hope, Faith and Religion; Uranus — Liberation, Brotherhood, Technology and Sudden Change; and, in this specific case (and which will be different for everyone depending on where this Conjunction occurs in your chart), Venus — Beauty, Love, Desire.

Visualize the ones that serve both ourselves and the collective, and leave the rest.

Astrology and Death: A Case Study of Dolores O’Riordan

One of the most on-the-nose syncs of what history will recall as the “Muslim Terrorists in Handgliders” Eclipse (a worthy peer to our once peerless “Muslim Terrorists with Boxcutters” timeline) was its Celestial alignment with Bibi the Butcher’s Birth Chart — who was also born on a Solar Eclipse that occurred on almost the exact same degree of Sidereal Virgo:

Comparison between The Butcher’s Natal chart (inner blue) and the October Solar Eclipse (outer orange), showing the close alignment of the Sun, Moon and Lunar Nodes — also showing Transiting Pluto exactly Squaring his Natal Sun.

This was not the only Astrological sync up with some of the Simulation’s most famous Actors.

As the Astrology community was bracing for a sharp uptick in the Chosen People vs Human Shields bombardment, what we actually got was the shocking and ritualistic-leaning death of Friends star Matthew Perry: the Astrology of which was then widely discussed after the appropriately-respectful 24 hours or so’s grace was given.

The bathtub drowning is, unfortunately, a repeated motif in the premature passing of the Celeb elite. Another member of this club was Dolores O’Riordan, lead singer of The Cranberries, who was found dead in her London home on the 15th of January 2018. I had just started exploring her chart in October, once I realised that Zombie was the perfect expression of both her own Astrology and the current warmongering climate.

I’m not sure the extent that it was directly inspired by Perry’s case, but I soon got around to looking at Dolores’ Planetary Transits on the day of her untimely death. Cue existential crisis about the fated nature of our feeble mortal lives:

• At the start of 2018, Transiting Pluto had moved to within 2 degrees of her Ascendant: shading her life experience with an extra level of intensity and compulsive energy.

• The Transiting Lunar Node Axis was close to Opposite her Natal Lunar Node Axis: that is, Transiting Rahu was Conjunct her Natal Ketu in the 7th House, and Transiting Ketu Conjunct her Natal Rahu in the 1st House. We might interpret this as her own individual life path being in opposition to that of the collective.

• At the same time, Neptune was approaching an exact Opposition with her Sun (conjunct Venus), after turning Direct a month before — a Polarisation of her Feminine Identity towards Dreams, Fantasy, Deceit, Intoxication, Water (yikes at those last 2).

• Transiting Saturn had also been slowly approaching a Square with her Natal Moon — a Harsh Restriction on Emotions — coming within 2 degrees in mid-January. On the 13th of January, Mercury joined Saturn, bringing additional tests to her capacity for Expression and Communication.

• On the morning of the 15th of January, while Mercury was still within 2 degrees of Saturn, the Transiting Moon joined both Planets in Squaring her Natal Moon. This Square became exact at roughly 5am London time: Dolores was announced dead at 9:16 am, after being found in her bathtub.

Natal Chart inner blue and Transits outer orange, with key transiting planets circled.

Surviving Pluto

There is a lot to unpack there, which I plan to do with the necessary spiritual context in a future post (suffice to say, for now: further evidence how seriously we are obliged to take Astrology).

Could Dolores O’Riordan have survived this once-in-a-lifetime alignment of intense energies if she had known it was an unavoidable manifestation of her Astrology (assuming she wasn’t a closet Stardigger herself)?

She was openly obsessed with death, including her own, in her music (hello Pluto in the 8th House), and this underlying fatalistic tone was amplified into an ultimately fatal period of her life thanks to a steadily-intensifying Pluto-Ascendant: perhaps the most intensely transformative transit that an individual can experience in their life, and one that only a select group of people will experience (Pluto taking almost 250 years to do its full cycle).

The intensely transformative influence of Pluto is especially relevant right now for the United States (and, hence, the rest of the unconsenting world), which is currently in the midst of its Pluto Return: whereby the Lord of the Underworld returns to its original position in the consensus-accepted Natal Chart for the founding of ‘Murica. This Return began in 2022 under Tropical calculations — synching up almost exactly on February 22 2022, in fact (of course) — however, based on Sidereal Observation, the “real fun” lies ahead of us in 2024

What does the United States look like after this Pluto Return? A complete death and rebirth of the American Dream into a wholly unrecognisable Freedom and Beer-loving Butterfly?

Is Peak-Pluto the final unearthing of the seething racial-cultural-spiritual tensions that have been slowly bubbling to the surface, manifesting as the first Early-Stage-Transhumanism Civil War: whereby consenting Lefties must have an unblemished Jibby Jabbed Status and Righties a Socially Conservative Credit Rating above 66.6% to engage in online hostilities?

Or, in a fairly intense twist (I also have Pluto in the 8th House, for those not following along at home) are we about to witness the figurative (and quite possibly even literal yikes) “Death of the Celebrity”: as the Epstein et. al. timeline finally arrives at some kind of resolution, and the Qtards finally get to say “I Told You So” to an utterly traumatised Normie population?

Ok, enough. Where’s the White Pill?

The Servants of Love: An Introduction to the Celestial Descendants

Our White Pill, and the climax of our Solstice Skyclock Spectacular, comes in the form of Wholesomely un-Conspiratorial Celebrity Astrology.

By far the highlight of my terrain theorist career was this Coldplay-themed video I made as part of my journey towards Consciously Uncoupling from the BioLabLeak ‘Rona Narrative (the scars still haunt me to today, like i’m sure Chris Martin’s do from when he parted ways with Gwyneth Paltrow):

After I had finished with Dolores’ chart, needing some lighter but still nostalgically-British relief, I turned back to Gwyneth’s ex to see what his chart had to offer. And boy, did it deliver:

As you can see in my hastily annotated screen recording, Marto has his Sun EXACTLY conjunct (as in almost to the minute, not just the degree) the line of the Descendant.

The Descendant lies at the opposite polarity of our Ascendant, or Rising Sign: the part of the Natal Chart most fundamentally about “us”: the Self. That makes the Descendant fundamentally about the “other”, or where we find meaning through Relationship to another person. The Descendant is also the cusp between the 6th and 7th Houses, which allows it to be understood as the meeting point, or union, between Service (6th House) and Partnership (7th House). Individuals with Planets here will feel inherently orientated to exploring the act of Devotion, and we see this not only in the relentlessly romantic music of Coldplay, but in many of our most treasured Pop Culture icons.

How many Pop Culture icons? Well, let me present an introduction to the Celestial Descendants: The Servants of Love.

I find this pattern fascinating, and would even go as far as suggesting we might have cracked one of the most crucial Skyclock encodings. IN FACT: I would even go even further by flagging that the provided birth times of some of the most Significant Stars in our Skyclock Simulation seem somewhat suspicious specific.

Wait… suspicious in what way? What are you implying? Was that level of alliteration necessary? Wasn’t this supposed to be Wholesomely un-Conspiratorial?

Ah well… I tried — but Pluto cannot be denied. Happy Solstice, fellow diggers.

Heavenly Haikus: The Signs

🐏

Strong, the Ram, the Man

Between Dreams and Luxury

Strong like a Mother.

🐂

Not just luxury

But: grounded, secure, bullish.

Senses are trusted.

👯‍♂️

Twins: Stop talking, chill.

Twins: Stop competing, relax.

Find the mystery.

🦀

The heart of the Crab

Nourishing, safe in the deep.

Have you seen their home?

🦁

King of the Jungle

But Frustrated, stuck between

Power and Pursuit.

👸🏼

What is there to say?

She does what she does, her way:

Meticulously.

⚖️

Someone must be Judge.

On earth, not above: right now.

Ruthless, if needs be.

🦂

Bad reputation.

Deep; you might find true love, but:

A sting in the tail.

🐍

The Serpent Bearer

Transforms, Heals; the Medicine

Is in the Poison.

🏹

Insufferable.

Next: Sublime, Holy… next: smug.

Always aiming high.

🐐

Bad reputation.

Fuck your feelings vibes; sharp horns.

Never lets you down.

⛲️

The Water Bearer:

Bringing life to the people.

I did it my way.

🐟

Dreams of Fish in Seas

Lost in waves, light as can be

Yet… reality.

Heavenly Haikus: The Planets

As we rise, lead, shine

As we spread our warmth to all

We become the Sun

We reflect, at night

Mind, emotions, our Monsters

Things saved for the dark

The world has logic

The world must be thought, expressed

Communicated

I love, I love love

Get out of my way, my love

Love is why I live

A man must be strong

A fighter must have courage

Our world must have War

I say yes to you

I say yes to everything

I exaggerate

Fuck you, you will wait

You will earn it, properly

You will master it

Sudden disruption

Revolution, Brotherhood

Liberate my soul

How to define that

Which transcends, which lives in dreams

Which has no boundaries?

I am raw power

Too intense for most mortals

I am the endgame

What's In Our Heads?

Drumming into the edge of the void ft. The Cranberries.

Before Dolores O’Riordan — lead singer of The Cranberries — passed in 2018, she described the divinely-inspired writing process of Zombie: the Verses, the Chorus, the Lyrics, the Hook(s) all came to her without inhibition or obstacle.

The resistance came instead from the Record Label, given the explicitly political nature of the lyrics. The song — 1994 lead single from their 2nd Album “No Need To Argue” — was inspired by the death of two children from one of the thousands of civilian bombings carried out over 4 decades, across Northern Ireland and the UK, during The Troubles.

Not that she minded much; imagine the following in a rich Irish accent:

"If I think something, I have to say it. And I really don't care what anybody thinks, you know?"

Opinionated, Fiery, IDGAF attitude: what Planetary Archetype would that remind you of? I would suggest Mars, which becomes even more appropriate given the focus of the song is War and it being fueled by righteous anger.

O’Riordan has a powerful but challenging chart (how’s my Astrology lingo coming along?). Her Mars — the Planet of War, where we channel our righteous anger — lies close to her Ascendent in the 1st House: where planets are most tied to our sense of Self, and most readily show up in our lives and personality. Mars is also conjunct the North Lunar Node Rahu, thought to represent our life purpose and direction.

Mars-Rahu forms a Grand Trine with Saturn in the 4th House (Struggles, Trials, Burdens in the Homeland) and Uranus in the 8th House (a Revolutionary Perspective on Death). Her Moon is in Sidereal Pisces (Empathy and Dreams), Opposite Uranus, forming an almost perfect Kite.

Here is a soundtracked 1 minute summary:

Zombie came as a shock — not in the least due to the delicate-looking Sun-Venus in Leo figure behind it. Based on the band’s debut album, those crunchy guitars and guttural bellows came from nowhere; in reality, it signified the moment O’Riordan first learned to channel this pure and embodied Mars energy (and the majority of their 3rd album went down the same road). 

Few songs are more deeply entrenched in our cultural consciousness than Zombie: it is a Local Pub Cover staple and a Kareoke classic; it was the most played song on United States Alternative Rock in its release year of 1994; it even topped our own Triple J Hottest 100 countdown of that year. And, despite being almost three decades old (!?), it has arguably never been more relevant.

We all know it — but what exactly was the meaning of That Chorus: who, or what, is the Zombie taking hold inside human heads? O’Riordan, it appears, left this open for interpretation. Here are three options:

A commentary on how blindly cleaving to centuries old prejudices can reduce one's capacity for independent thought.

A metaphor to reanimate the children whose deaths inspired O'Riordan to write it.

A reckoning with the dead children that populate your mind; the dead bodies you've seen in the images that you can't forget.

https://twitter.com/ShaykhSulaiman/status/1720094564529402017

Oof.

As many of us grapple with the existential choice of continuing to bear witness to the brutal human consequences of this mind virus, or protecting our mental health... at least we have Dolores to eternally thank for this piece of sublime Mars catharsis.

I’m not sure how many more dead children I can stomach, so let this be a testament.

No Sunlight; It’s Alright

Musical Musings on Eclipse Season.

October 27 2023

The starting point for understanding the meaning of any Astrological Archetype is its observable qualities. 

• Fire Signs: they ignite, they bring heat, they radiate, they burn.

• Water Signs: they flow, they change and transform, they are deep, emotional. 

• Leo: the Lion, proud, majestic, regal, dramatic. 

• Cancer: the Crab, tough and protective on the outside, soft and nurturing on the inside. 

• Mars: the red planet, the planet of war, masculine, aggression and self assertion. 

• Venus: the brightest and prettiest star in the sky, feminine, beauty and love and romance, fantasy. 

Even the 27 Vedic Nakshatras — the most vivid yet elusive of the Celestial Characters at our disposal — take their inspiration from the observable characteristics of the 27 fixed stars that track the monthly passage of the Moon around the Ecliptic.

So… what is an eclipse? 

Ancient Astrological traditions typically understood them as omens for disruptive events: natural disasters, wars, famines, even the rise and fall of Kings and Empires (there are even records of “Substitute King” rituals in Mesopotamia, which attempted to shift the omen from the current ruler onto some hapless pleb). Modern interpretations have refined this existentialism somewhat, seeing eclipses as the beginning of particularly charged and powerful lunar cycles.

In a birth chart, Eclipses — signified by the Conjunction of the Sun and Moon with the Lunar Nodes Rahu and Ketu — are thought to indicate larger than life characters. Hopefully you already know about The Orange Moonchild, who was born in the middle of a Total Lunar Eclipse; Obama (assuming his birth date can be trusted) was also born 6 days before a Solar Eclipse.

But did you know that Israeli Prime Minister and War Crimes Enjoyer Bibi Netanwhatever was also born on an Eclipse? His Moon was at 26 degrees in the Sidereal Sign of Virgo when he was born, the exact location of the Solar Eclipse early this month (true story), which has seen his political career reach its most precarious point. 

Comparison between Netanwhatever’s birth chart (inner blue) and the recent Solar Eclipse (outer orange), showing the close alignment of the Sun, Moon and Lunar Nodes.

Want more eclipse syncs? You have come down the right wombat hole. Let’s try a few of these on for size:

• The defeat of Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815 occurred three days before a solar eclipse;

• The sinking/torpedoing of the Titanic in 1912 occurred between solar and lunar eclipses;

• The Reichstag Fire of 1933 occurred 3 days after a Solar Eclipse.

• The testing of the first Atomic Bomb in 1945 was a week after a solar eclipse, with Hiroshima bombed 2 weeks later.

• Two of the most famous Political Assassinations in history — Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jnr — both occurred in between solar and lunar eclipses.

And what about the most famous of all martyrdoms — Yeshua/Jesus — with references to eclipse imagery on the day of crucifixion found throughout the Gospels.

And we haven’t even got to the Royal Family yet, oh boy!

Did you know that both William and Kate were born on eclipses, that Chuck and Diana were married on an Eclipse, that Diana died the day after an eclipse, and that Charlie was Coronated this year on the day of an eclipse? Probs all just coincidences.

Speaking of Coronas and coincidences: how is this for a spicy plandemic timeline, fellow Dissidents?

• December 12, 2019: First known cluster of “new” pneumonia-like illness in Wuhan.

• December 26: Solar Eclipse.

• January 1 2020: Huanan Seafood Market is closed.

• January 9: World Health Organisation announces a novel Coronavirus outbreak of 40 cases.

• January 11: Lunar Eclipse.

• January 21: First ‘Rona case in the US.

• January 31: Global Health Emergency declared.

I could go on (if you need more, check out this excellent 3 hour discussion) but let’s get back to the point: what is an Eclipse?

In the case of our last Solar Eclipse, is was the darkening of the Sun, completely hidden save for that ring of fire encapsulating the silhouette of the Moon. In ancient cultures, when human cycles were just becoming intimately connected to the Skyclock, it must have been an entirely traumatic experience for the Sun — the greatest Celestial deity — to disappear. It would have been a time of crisis; the sudden disruption of the natural order. A true test of faith.

It feels like that now — that the darkening of the Sun above was entirely fitting of the events unfolding below. The last few weeks has seen the veil lifted on the nastiest and darkest aspects of human nature to an unprecedented extent, with competing Religionisms doing their best to manifest the darkest shadow of the two difficult aspects that were at play: Pluto Square Mars with a side of Saturn Opposite Venus. 

How ominous is it that for the second instalment of our current Eclipse season — falling across the 28th and 29th of this month — that the Moon will be Conjunct Jupiter, which itself will be directly Opposing an exact Conjunction between Mars and Mercury? I guess we will know within a week or so’s time. 

Until then, here is a cover of the song “Pale” by British band Haelos: taken from an album helped me through some of my darkest personal times. And that was before I realised that it was a Ring of Fire on the front cover, and that this song — the last on the album — represents a symbolic reckoning with the darkness of an Eclipse.

May the darkness pass, swiftly and inevitably, just like the Skyclock directs it to.

Mars Square Pluto; Man on Fire

On October 7, two of the most problematic Heavenly Archetypes — the Planet of War Mars and the Lord of the Underworld Pluto — Squared up to each other around the Zodiac.

A Square is friction, disharmony, a clash between the energies of two Archetypes. In this case, we might imagine a harsh and brutal uncovering of the depths of human bloodlust.

Was it a coincidence that on this day — exactly one 50-year Jubilee since the start of the Yom Kippur War in 1973 — Hamas attacked Israel, and the world was promptly ambushed with one of the most defining and horrifying 24 hours of our already spiralling Internet Age?

A lot is made about the root causes of conflict in the Middle East. A lot of the discussion gets lost in historical arguments over lineage and land rights, and even more of it in talk of religious prophecy and Biblical Revelation. More and more, the debate is hijacked by the propaganda campaigns of broader geopolitical agendas that seem locked into mindsets of escalation and provocation.

In the Fog of the Information Wars, it becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate fact from fiction: real war atrocities from despicable war mongering propaganda. 40 beheaded babies would, for an example, be an astonishingly (but unfortunately not impossibly) demonic act of brutality. Yet, so too, would be knowingly allowing this terrorism to be carried out against your own people… or, for that matter — because we know similar lies have been used to justify wars before — confecting such a story for the specific purpose of enacting more military violence.

Perhaps this is the best way to understand the situation. Hamas enact their bloodletting in a brutally primitive, medieval and almost entirely counterproductive manner — rather than through sophistry, manipulation, propaganda and cold-blooded Saturnian politics of the Judeo-Christian Empire. This ideological schism appears coded into our reality in order to create perpetual violence and lead us into WW3.

To me, the fundamental barrier to peace in the Middle East is clear: a group of people quite literally being held captive and subject to a constant state of trauma in an open-air prison of war.

How have such animalistic living conditions come to be normalised and excused?

How could someone possible rationalise (as many influential public figures are currently doing in suspicious unison) turning one of the most densely populated and impoverished areas of the world into a post-apocalyptic parking lot: knowing full well and in full conscience the unprecedented civilian bloodshed that it would bring about?

Maybe it is just human nature. Or maybe it is the logical end point of the anti-human belief that any particular Race and/or Religion of people is fundamentally superior, divinely-anointed, entitled, or any more “Human” than the other.

Whatever the origin — and wherever in the world such a power and freedom differential occurs — should we be surprised if the darkest shadow of those subject to such captivity inevitably end up reflecting that back onto their captors?

I have just done a friend’s chart who has Saturn in a hard aspect with Mars, and its not an easy thing to frame in a positive light. That said, and despite Saturn’s demonisation, its disciplined and restricting influence on unrestrained warmongering would be more than handy right now. The good news is that Mars has just moved into a favourable Trine with Saturn, and still will be for the eclipse in two days time.

To assist in this energy, here is a song by a British chap called Gareth Icke. If that name sounds strangely (and ominously) familiar then, yes: he is the Son of OG Reptilian Conspiracy Theorist David Icke, whose most notable contribution to the world has been hypothesising that we live in an Archonic Simulation where Humans are harvested for their energy and controlled through a complex Planetary AI Apparatus best described as the Saturn-Moon Matrix. Fun!

It is to Gareth’s great credit that he has managed to emerge from that considerable shadow and make his own name, both as a Musician and one of the strongest voices in the “Truther” community for bringing to light the dire everyday reality of the Palestinian people.

My intention behind this cover is to practice this balance between the Aggression and Righteousness of Mars and the Humility and Restraint of Saturn.

My Sun Sign Journey to True Astrology

Sunset Stargazings #1: A Tale of Fire and Water.

Happy Spring/Autumnal Equinox, fellow diggers!

Things appear business-as-usual on the geopolitical front (i.e. a slow and painfully drawn-out descent into WW3 by roughly 2025?) — thus, barring a last minute 9/23 curveball (looking your way, Sleepy Joe) we continue our DTWH pivot towards unearthing the mythology and mystery of the celestial Skyclock.

What does that mean? It means it is time for our inaugural edition of Sunset Stargazings: deep Astrological musings set to the backdrop of where you would rather be (reptiles and arachnids notwithstanding)!

Relatively recent venturers Down the Wombat Hole may be surprised to know that, slightly over a year ago, I was running for Australian Federal politics as a Conspiratorial Terrain Theorist: an archetype based in the fiery and spotlight-seeking inspiration of the Fire Signs (particularly Leo).

Slightly more seasoned diggers are already aware of this fact, and equally aware of my tendencies to slip into Melodramatic Emo Boi mode: an archetype based in the moody and emotional depths of the Water Signs (particularly Cancer).

How can one humble-ish Wombat occupy seemingly incompatible archetypes? You are about to find out!

In this 20 minute video, I outline my approach to Astrology, and how it has been shaped by my journey to understanding my Sun Sign: that is, in Astrological terms, the aspect of our personality that we shine most brightly and consistently into the world.

The video focuses more on my personal story; the rest of this post deals more with the nitty gritty: the difference between Tropical and Sidereal Astrology, and an introduction to “True Sidereal”, which uses the observable size and location of each constellation in the Zodiac rather than an even 30 degrees for each.

If you make it to the end and have your own chart insights to add, please share them in the comments!

Navigating the Great Skyclock Debate

Or: Tropical Astrology vs Sidereal Astrology

Like every marginalised and vilified community, Astrology has its own ideological schism that prevents it from working together harmoniously against established power structures and for the good of humanity. Much like Germies vs Terrainers in the ‘Rona Dissident ranks, in this case we have Tropical vs Sidereal.

The debate between the two sides centres around the concept of Precession (or, more specifically, the Precession of the Equinoxes). Let me try and explain this concept and the debate around it as clearly and succinctly as possible, using the analogy of the heavens as the Skyclock.

If you view our sky as a coherently rotating time-keeping instrument (as I do; come at me Heliocentrists), you can understand Precession as a hidden — and much slower — turning of this clock. What if, as well as the minute and hour hands rotating at their different speeds, the numbers on the background also slowly turn, maybe at 1 degree per day? If we didn’t account for that additional rotation in our timekeeping, our reading of that clock would grow, day by day, less accurate.

To focus the analogy: if we were to look for the same spot on the Zodiac at the same location at the moment of the Spring Equinox, we would find that spot to have moved backwards by just a fraction — such that it would take 70 years for 1 degree of rotation around the ecliptic, and an entire 25,000ish years for the Grand Turning to complete.

Or, if you prefer the Heliocentric model:

A small part of my globe-denying self dies every time I have to use this extremely helpful illustration

I have no doubt by this point — simply through my own experience with it — that Astrology is legit. However: I also believe its legitimacy rests on an accurate understanding of the Luminaries — not just the energies at play in all the various planets, stars and constellations, but their actual real and observable configuration in the sky, both in the past and in the present.

Now, as a born-again Geocentrist (i’m not particularly concerned with the shape of the Earth, and see the debate largely as a distraction), I’m in no position to lecture anyone about listening to a mainstream Earth science like Astronomy. Nonetheless, the Precession of the Equinoxes does seem to be a very real and observable phenomenon of our sky (if it too was a psy-op, every stargazing culture on Earth would have to be in on it… which i’m not saying is impossible, but probably makes you further down the wombat hole than me).

This means that the Skyclock has rotated roughly 24 degrees away from the Tropical model, which is essentially locked in place from 2000 years ago. In fact, Tropical Astrology is quite open and transparent in not using the location of the constellations, with the theoretical location of each Sign instead based on the timing of the seasons: the Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere will always signal the start of Aries season, even though the Sun will still be in Pisces in the observable sky.

In short, and in a strictly Astronomical sense, Sidereal should be the most accurate form of Astrology:

You can check this discrepancy yourself, right now, as I am about to do.

As I type this, in late July (yes: this post took a long time to bring together), nearly every Astrology practicer, blogger and content creator will tell you we are entering Leo season. Yet, if we look at what is actually happening in the sky — using direct observation as our foundation, as all Earth sciences should — we see something different:

Screenshot taken on July the 25th using the Sky Guide app, clearly showing that the Sun is located in Cancer (where it will stay until August 6-7).

I will give a specific example of one of my friends, who was born in the first few days of August, thus making Leo his Tropical Sun Sign. It would not be an understatement to say that he is one of the least “Leo” people you can imagine: gentle and softly spoken; actively avoiding drama, the spotlight and any kind of self-promotion.

On the other hand, what he certainly does demonstrate in his personality are the traits of a Cancerian. Those who know him, know his life is dedicated to the home and the family: working FIFO (fly in, fly out mining work for non-Aussies) to support his wife and three children for one week, with the other week spent nurturing and caring for them in person.

This is just one example (alongside my own, which I will get to soon), however reflects why I believe Astrology has been largely dismissed by the mainstream: for many, if not most people, the description of arguably the most crucial aspect of their birth chart simply misses the mark.

Of course, the Sun Sign is just one aspect of our chart, and arguably given more importance than it should. Additionally, the Tropical vs Sidereal debate only concerns one of the three pillars of a birth chart, with the other two (the House placements of each Planet and the Aspects/angles between them) remaining mostly consistent.

I should also note that I have learned most of what I know about Astrology from Tropical practitioners, particularly in relation to the Houses and Aspects. Nonetheless, I now firmly believe that the practice of Astrology will — much to its detriment, and to humanity as whole — fall short of its full potential (and continue to not be taken seriously as a legitimate scientific approach to deciphering our reality) as long as it remains locked in the Tropical worldview.

Thus, a primary purpose of Wholesome Astrology is to gently lead us out of this limiting paradigm: to “Harmonise the Heavens” by outlining a more integrative approach to deciphering the machinations of the Skyclock.

Harmonising the Heavens: Integrating Tropical and Sidereal Placements

So: Sidereal is right and Tropical is wrong? Not so fast; things — as seems to be the case in this realm — are not quite as simple as they appear.

As you will find in the comments of the above “Sidereal Astrology Explained” 10 minute video, many people find their Tropical chart to be an entirely accurate representation of their personality, even when compared to their Sidereal chart (including one of my best friends, who was very much triggered when I suggested she was a Capricorn Sun and not an Aquarius). Some of the most informative Astrologers I follow use both approaches, and believe they both have their own value. Clearly there is mystery in this thing that can’t be materially reduced down.

Mystery component aside, there is a very material reason why many people have found Tropical Astrology so helpful: they have their key planets in the same Signs under both approaches.

For example, I am Pisces Rising in both my charts: meaning that the constellation of Pisces was rising over the Eastern horizon at my time of birth. I (and many others) consider the Ascendent Sign to be the best indicator of our overall character — I understand it as the lens through which our planetary archetypes are focused through, or the colour of the stained-glass window through which our core personality shines.

Thus, both Tropical and Sidereal Astrology accurately describe this crucial aspect of my personality.

My Tropical (top) and Sidereal chart: while the outer Zodiac ring rotates 24 degrees, the House placements and aspects remain consistent (as does my Pisces Ascendent).

For the majority of people who do not have the same Sun, Moon and Ascendant Signs under both approaches, it is important to look at your key placements under each chart, seeing which set of energies you believe to be most accurate, before you dig further.

A more integrative (although far less specific) approach would be to understand the energy of a planet on a spectrum between its Tropical and Sidereal placement. For example, I consider my Sun Sign a blend of fiery Leo (my Tropical placement) and watery Cancer (my Sidereal Placement), given it describes my polarising and often contradictory outer personality quite accurately (more on this aspect of my chart below).

Introducing “True Sidereal” Astrology

My birthday is August the 6th, which under Tropical makes me a Leo. I identified with this Sign considerably for a few years, and was likely a significant reason why I decided to run for politics.

But there was always a question mark: I am also quite introverted and emotional (I self-identified as an Emo in my late teens and early 20s). Indeed, as the campaign progressed, I witnessed my superficial Lion mask gradually slip off, replaced by a more sensitive and emotional self that progressively undermined the political persona I had been upholding.

I still see myself in my Tropical Chart, but find my Sidereal placements to resonate more strongly: pointing to a deeper side to my personality and soul purpose. However, it was only once I found an approach called “True Sidereal” that my chart properly clicked.

What is True Sidereal? Very simply, it refines the standard Sidereal approach by dropping the equal 30 degree division of the 12 Signs, replacing them with the actual size of each constellation as it sits within the Skyclock. This is the end result:

You can calculate your True Sidereal chart for free at www.masteringthezodiac.com/sidereal-birth-chart-calculator

Along with the pretty colour scheme, True Sidereal expands the extent of some Signs — notably Taurus, Leo, Virgo and Pisces — while reducing the extent of Aries, Cancer and Libra. It also splits Scorpio in two, incorporating the 13th Sign of Ophiuchus — a constellation known as the Serpent Bearer, which was dropped from the standard Zodiac (likely because 12 signs is far more conducive to a neat and tidy Skyclock than 13).

My Sun Sign is an example of the extra layer of detail that a True Sidereal approach can provide. As I mentioned, Sidereal moves my Sun from Leo to Cancer. However, if we take into account the relative sizes of each Sign, I was actually born right on the cusp of the two:

As you can also see, my Sun is conjunct with two other planets: Venus in green and Mars in red. This means, in simple terms, a blending together of the energies of both planets into my Sun personality. Give its proximity, I also include Mercury in this mix, even though it lies just outside of the 10 degree margin for a conjunction. In this context, we see the blending into my outer personality the Planet of communication and Intellect (Mercury) with both the archetypal Male planet of strength and aggression plus the archetypal Female planet of love and beauty.

In my Tropical chart, this conjunction occurs entirely in Leo, and entirely in Cancer under Sidereal. But look closer at the placement of each under True Sidereal: Venus sitting pretty in the Feminine Water of Cancer, and Mars at home in the Masculine Fire of Leo.

Venus in Cancer — Strength: Dreamy, full of longing, very impressionable; profound desire for harmony, unification, and spiritual and physical exchange. Shadow: victim of own delusions; illusory, indiscriminate, unpredictable, depressed from constant disappointment.

Mars in Leo — Strength: Optimistic, self-confident, and imperial manner with grand gestures; life affirming and spirited when carrying out plans. Shadow: Egoistic, presumptuous, arrogant.

Taken together, we can see a very polarised outer self emerge: someone who can switch almost instantaneously between seemingly incompatible personalities — say, for example, someone who can run for federal politics as an anti-Jibby Jab conspiracy theorist, whilst also being a hopelessly emotionally melodramatic.

It’s not just my Sun Sign. My True Sidereal chart revealed to me how all my inner planets are aligned around transition points between Fire and Water (known as Gandanta points in Vedic Astrology, or the spiciest regions of the Zodiac): Saturn and the Moon either side of the cusp between Scorpio and Sagittarius, and my chart ruler Jupiter on the cusp of Pisces and Aries.

My chart is, in other words quite literally a Tale of Fire and Water (with vague apologies to George R. R. Martin). In fact, dare I say it myself, if you wanted to create a distinctly disorientating and disrupting fiery and watery personality, you could hardly design a chart more precisely than this.

Hopefully, within this context, your adventures/travails Down The Wombat Hole are starting to make more sense!

On Gods and Dogs; On Satan and Saturn.

I have thought for a while now that this Reality, which we temporarily inhabit, gives itself away in such obvious ways that we tend to overlook them.

It is, for example, no mistake that the name we have assigned to the greatest spiritual adversary to Humanity is plagiarised directly from the most “malefic” planet in our realm: Saturn.

I use “malefic” because, of course, every planetary (and Zodiacal) archetype is inherently neutral: not to mention indispensable to human evolution. Saturn’s role is to restrict and challenge us in every endeavour we set out to do: particularly the endeavours most central to our life purpose.

Through the Sign and House that it lies in, along with the Planets that it aspects in our charts, Saturn makes our lives unambiguously, unavoidably and yet necessarily more difficult. We find the energies associated with these impacted Signs and Planets difficult to fully and healthily express, and the domains of life they represent lacking in confidence, filled with awkwardness and vulnerability.

While — sure — that does sound fairly cruel and arguably demonic on first glance, there is a grander logic at play. Because of these restrictions and inhibitions, we inevitably are required to put the most amount of attention and effort towards these Saturnian-afflicted domains. This is where we learn things the hardest way, and thus where we also receive the greatest resulting benefits.

In short: Saturn is there to hold us to account and make sure there are no shortcuts; to ensure that the greatest rewards in life are gained only once we apply the necessary effort and develop the necessary discipline.

Similarly, it is no mistake that the name we have assigned to our Best Friends is the most obvious anagram one could imagine (Santa notwithstanding). In fact, I could not imagine, or hope, for better proof than our canine companions that — despite the devolving shit show we appear to be stuck within — Divine love and protection remains all around us.

But even then, it doesn’t come easily, does it? And I say this not just because my best friend’s two companions — who I have been dog-sitting for the last 3 weeks — have been doing their best escape artist impersonations: wholesomely digging (bless them) under the house and out into the boundary-free Neptunian world that awaits.

My former housemate once commented that Dogs appear to seek out boundaries and discipline from us. His gorgeous Girl seemed most at peace when told exactly where to go, where to be, and what not to be doing. Their relationship involved her constantly pushing his buttons until such a Saturnian archetype was properly embodied.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to me that Dogs were created this way deliberately: purposely lacking in self-restraint and self-imposed boundaries until they were imposed on them, externally.

Essentially, through the pure Divinity of Dogs, we ourselves are transformed into Saturn: even, gulp, into the adversarial archetype of Satan. We must impose rules and boundaries and discipline — even if it sometimes feels cold and mean and unfair, even if it feels like killing Bambi. The more we practice and perfect these dark Saturnian arts — and the more that we accept this inherent and unavoidable duality at the heart of this reality — the more rewards we receive from our best friends.

I could (and did) get mad at these two little chumps when they escaped 3 mornings in a row. But what greater archetypal role were they actually playing, whether consciously or not? That the current boundaries and restrictions keeping them in place were insufficient, half-assed and in need of rectification: this time properly and without shortcuts.

More subtly, but perhaps more importantly, Dogs also teach how to deal with Saturn: or, we might alternatively say, what it looks like to give all our power away to the adversary.

Yes, they give us Those Eyes: making sure we fully embody the cold, ice-ringed Planet and its emotional detachment in order to properly do our job. But what follows is seeming complete forgiveness for our strictness, not to mention almost complete acceptance of the new set of boundaries that have been imposed upon them.

In fact, it is almost unnerving how readily and willingly they will accept our Saturnian restrictions — and how much trust they place in us to appropriately apply these restrictions, whether we are deserving of that trust or not.

Does that sound familiar, over the last 3 and a bit years?

I’ll finish with a personal story, even though I couldn’t hope to do the same amount of doggo justice as Mary did in her lovely piece.

We got our family dog Juno — named after our favourite family movie and female protagonist at the time — roughly 15 years ago. It was, in complete honesty, in the midst a fairly perilous stage of my life (although we’ve all been 21 before haven’t we, fellow diggers?). I remember her being brought into our family — and our collective re-watching of the character she was named after — as a distinct turning point: a shift away from my unchecked inherent Neptunian nature and towards the duty and responsibility of… you guessed it.

I wrote about some of my times with Juno here, before we all moved out of our family house.

She absolutely loved her new family home in the rolling green hills, a few hours south of the city. And you probably know where this story is headed, but let me digress slightly first, before I have to deal with it.

Last weekend, my sister moved again out of our family home, slightly closer to the city. I won’t go into detail, but this was a huge moment for all of us. It was also certainly the most unified our family had felt since the Germ Conspiracists started to deliberately and wilfully turn loved ones against each other for fictitious reasons at the start of 2020.

I didn’t think I would be able to get there, in the midst of dog-sitting two loveably Neptunian assholes, but we somehow arranged it.

I remember very distinctly that our family’s eldest cat Dax (Star Trek reference this time) passed at an equally significant time for our family, just days after I had visited from my new home 6-ish hours drive away. It added to a suspicion I had had for a while, and that I expressed rather provocatively in this piece: that “sudden” deaths are far less random than we tell ourselves, regardless of the species in question.

Anyway, exactly one week later, today, Dad messaged us and said Juno had had a stroke, and needed to be put down. Was her job done? Undoubtably, whether that was the true reason she left us or not.

Rest in Peace Juno, back with God.

Or should that be Satan/Saturn? It seems increasingly difficult to tell the difference these days.

Lucky we still have Dogs here to guide us home.

Written in the Stars? Welcome to Wholesome Astrology!

And to the first edition of Stardigging Drum Covers.

There was a reason why I was keen to wrap up our Jubilee 23 burrow, because there are far more expansive and wholesome wombat holes to be exploring.

One, in particular, is Astrology. In fact, as I mentioned last post, I have now officially decided to be an Astrologer (Astrologist?). Not the most well-trodden career path after Urban Planning and Disability Work perhaps, but also a bit more likely to bring in an income than full-time conspiracy — as well as being a more positive and practical application for all the occulted digging I have undertaken over the last 4 or so years.

I have been generally interested in Astrology for a while, however it was only last year — when I had a reading done by a Conspiratorial Vedic Sidereal Astrologer (true story) — that things properly clicked. Basically: I realised I had found the light of the conspiratorial tunnel I had become trapped within since I moved to my current home town of Esperance in 2019 — a medium to transform all the esoteric knowledge I have gathered into something spiritually uplifting and healing.

The last 6 months, and the last few months in particular, have been a crash course in Astrological mythology, theory and practice (hence why I have been a bit quieter than usual, haikus notwithstanding). While I am still (with the help of several friends/guinea pigs, who will hopefully forgive me one day) working through some of the more technical aspects of chart readings — particularly the importance of planetary aspects and how they influence the overall energies of a birth chart — I feel like I am now at the stage where I can confidently call myself an Astrologer.

So: why does the world need another Astrologer… and a conspiratorial one at that?

I have many potential catchphrases for you. How about: Make Astrology Great (and fun) Again?

In a nut shell, my Wholesome Astrology vision is comprised of four core elements, channelling similar energies as their respective Zodiac Signs:

1. Harmonising the Heavens (Air: intellect, balance, communication);

2. Sunset Stargazings (Earth: earthly beauty, grounding, humility);

3. Conspiratorial Celebrity Horoscopes (Water: deep, emotionally sensitive, taboo);

4. Stardigging Drum Covers (Fire: bold, creative, adventurous).

Given this will be my primary professional endeavour (hopefully), I will be donning my PhD mortarboard in the immediate future to demonstrate my skillset.

The next few posts will explain my preferred methodology for practicing Astrology, and why I believe it represents an evidence-based and observable (i.e. verified non woo-woo) approach to deciphering the wisdom of the Skyclock. Combining aspects of Tropical, Sidereal, Vedic and Evolutionary Astrology, this “Harmonising the Heavens” approach forms the basis of my Personalised Wholistic Birth Chart Report service, as well as all my other Astrological musings within elements 2 to 4 above (which shall remain free).

To seal the deal, and before we get to the grand Wholesome Astrology launch party that will be Orange Man’s chart (where else could I start?), I will offer up myself on the alter of the Sky Gods/gods: using my own birth chart as an example for how a true understanding of Astrology can help us unlock the deeper aspects of our personality and purpose.

Before then… let’s have some Leo Sun fun, shall we.

Welcome to Wholesome Astrology!

What is Wholesome Astrology? Let me try and explain through my own chart.

Submitting to Pluto in my 8th House (the lord of the underworld in the home of the conspiracy theorist, no less!), expect wholesomely provocative deep dives into the practice, theory and mythology of the most ancient of human sciences: the study of the ever-present and ever-rotating Sky Clock above us.

Honouring my adventurous Sagittarius Moon, expect short sunset videos from some of the most spectacular locations across the South-West of Australia.

When captured simultaneously by my Mars in Leo and Venus in Cancer, expect these to come in the form of occasionally bitchy and gossipy breakdowns of what the stars above say about the biggest Stars below.

And, most entertainingly — as I come to terms with having my Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars conjunct in the 5th House of creative expression — expect drum covers of some of the greatest pop culture musical artefacts, as we see them through new eyes as artistic manifestations of the Astrology of their creators.

Where better to start than this duet from the musical Aida, which gets to the heart of The Skyclock Conspiracy: are we all just participants in a grand script that has been quite literally Written in the Stars?

The song is melodramatic AF, sure, as one would expect from someone with EJ's emotion-ruling Moon in the 5th House: dramatising a doomed romance into an existential crisis about fate, free will, and — ultimately, given the title — the occulted role of the Luminaries in this cosmic drama.

But when you find out his Pluto also happens to be lodged way in the 8th House (that’s assuming we can trust the unverified birth date that the internet has bestowed upon him), we might conclude that such existentialism was unavoidable.

Of course, you could argue that Elton John’s chart is irrelevant, given he notoriously outsourced proper songwriting duties throughout his career. Heck, even for this song, Lyricist Tim Rice has official co-songwriting honours.

Maybe that’s just the patriarchy talking. Perhaps we should be looking more at LeAnn Rimes’ chart, given she clearly steals the show here?

Regardless: some of the greatest philosophical questions of our reality start to reveal themselves if you stare at that chorus long enough.

Are we stuck in a cosmic karmic loop, repenting for alleged past misdeeds?

Is God just another power-tripping lab-coat-wearer: hijacking humanity for its own sick experimental game?

Are we all just star-crossed lovers, as Shakespeare once proposed: rising and retrograding out of each other's lives?

Or is the influence of the Luminaries now more akin the images on my favourite Skyclock shirt: still recognisable, but faded and obscured by the passage of life and time (not to mention human free will and projection)?

I’m not promising you any answers: but you won’t find a better place to dig into these questions than Wholesome Astrology.